Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people but most ppl sit behind the chain-link fence and watch for free.
Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners and Burt Reynolds.
Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.
Heroes:
NORTH: Rudy Guliani
SOUTH: Archie & any member of the '92 Cowboys
Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickets.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and put name on waiting list for tickets.
Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class.
Parking:
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags, along with their favorite NASCAR driver, begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.
Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why "Game Day Live" is never broadcast from their campus.
Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by "Lynyrd Skynyrd," who come over during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of whiskey.
Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the state's most populated city.
Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for Mr. Daniels.
When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 drunk fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part slurred harmony.
The Smell in the Air After the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of spilt beer and fire extinguishers which were used to put out the firework-debris-ignited beer.
Commentary (Male):
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow son of a biznatch - tackle him and break his legs."
Commentary (Female):
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow son of a biznatch - tackle him and break his legs."
Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team. Usually town drunk.
After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker. While somebody goes to the nearest ABC store for more beer, planning begins for next week's game.
and thats why southern football freakin' rocks!
Football: North vs. South
-
SpikedCoffey
- Ballin' on a Budget
- Posts: 871
- Joined: Sat Aug 14, 2004 8:38 am
- Location: Ash-Town, North Carolina
- Contact:
Football: North vs. South
I rode a tank and held a generals rank,
When the blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank.
I shouted out 'Who killed the Kennedys?'
When after all it was you and me.
Let me please introduce myself, Im a man of wealth and taste.
And I laid traps for troubadours who get killed before they reached bombay.
Pleased to meet you hope you guessed my name.
But whats puzzling you is the nature of my game.
When the blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank.
I shouted out 'Who killed the Kennedys?'
When after all it was you and me.
Let me please introduce myself, Im a man of wealth and taste.
And I laid traps for troubadours who get killed before they reached bombay.
Pleased to meet you hope you guessed my name.
But whats puzzling you is the nature of my game.
wow thats all right. cept u forgot about the beer van. some college's have this van (school bus for aTm) where u can make "donations to the school" and receive beer as a free gift. at least they have it at our college. nothing beat Aggie football, more spirit than anywhere. and the old guys you always end up cuss ppl out every play its funny.
Well, apparently Spike has never been near an ohio campus gameday, so I re-did the north for OSU at least 
because I know that the New England States Differ a great deal from say the mid western states or the ones out West. So there are probably a varied degree of how excited the North gets. But As I said, I grew up in Ohio, and this is football to us.
Stadium Size:
Buckeye's stadium holds 105,000 and as far as High Schools Massillon is in the north and has it's own stadium, which is where the Hall of Fame Game is played...in the high school stadium.
Campus Decor:
Block O's and The picture of the ONLY two time Heisman Trophy winner Archie Griffin. He was a buckeye, or one of the other many Heisman winners from OSU
Homecoming Queen:
Not a real big thing
Heroes:
Woody Hayes
Getting tickets:
Are you student or alumni? No? (ticket person laughs in your face)
Friday Classers after a thursday night game:
Most of the campus is too hung over to go to class, but I've not heard of a Thursday night game...is that college or proffesional or high school?
Parking:
Did you donate over 100,000? No? (Parking people laugh in your face)
Gameday:
105,000 people trying to enter the stadium which is literally less than 150 feet from my room. Away Game? those who aren't going are in rooms watching it, or streaking onto the field without a ticket.
Tailgating, The long side of the stadium is lined with a series of grills, and all along lane there are tailgators. Pop-up tents, chairs, and a mob of people ready to beat any performer up who tries to sing a song during pre-game
Going to the stadium:
Well, if you have a ticket, join the hoard of people trying to get in, if you don't, sucks to be you
Concessions:
I figure this is pretty regular with the whole country
When National Anthem is Played:
With every person in the stadium, people stop on the stairs up to the top row to turn and pay tribute to the great USA. Pure and simple, if you're disrespectful, you'll hear about it after the song is done. People in the north don't much care for jerk offs like that.
The Smell in the Air After the First Score:
Well, I guess there isn't new smells because no pyrotechnics, but you do go deaf by the boos or cheers.
Commentary:
Who the hell is listening to commentary instead of watching the game?
Announcer:
Can't hear him over roar of crowd, but probably a student.
After the game:
Well, aside from the occasional riot, Students rush the field, go to the bars, and stumble along High street singing Carmen Ohio (the alma mater)
I don't know what kind of game Spike's been to in the north, probably harvard or something. Anyway, just thought I'd clear up his mistakes. P.S. you can keep Miami University. I believe all of what spike said about the south is true, but just because they are rowdy (for lack of a better word) doesn't mean we aren't!
because I know that the New England States Differ a great deal from say the mid western states or the ones out West. So there are probably a varied degree of how excited the North gets. But As I said, I grew up in Ohio, and this is football to us.Stadium Size:
Buckeye's stadium holds 105,000 and as far as High Schools Massillon is in the north and has it's own stadium, which is where the Hall of Fame Game is played...in the high school stadium.
Campus Decor:
Block O's and The picture of the ONLY two time Heisman Trophy winner Archie Griffin. He was a buckeye, or one of the other many Heisman winners from OSU
Homecoming Queen:
Not a real big thing
Heroes:
Woody Hayes
Getting tickets:
Are you student or alumni? No? (ticket person laughs in your face)
Friday Classers after a thursday night game:
Most of the campus is too hung over to go to class, but I've not heard of a Thursday night game...is that college or proffesional or high school?
Parking:
Did you donate over 100,000? No? (Parking people laugh in your face)
Gameday:
105,000 people trying to enter the stadium which is literally less than 150 feet from my room. Away Game? those who aren't going are in rooms watching it, or streaking onto the field without a ticket.
Tailgating, The long side of the stadium is lined with a series of grills, and all along lane there are tailgators. Pop-up tents, chairs, and a mob of people ready to beat any performer up who tries to sing a song during pre-game
Going to the stadium:
Well, if you have a ticket, join the hoard of people trying to get in, if you don't, sucks to be you
Concessions:
I figure this is pretty regular with the whole country
When National Anthem is Played:
With every person in the stadium, people stop on the stairs up to the top row to turn and pay tribute to the great USA. Pure and simple, if you're disrespectful, you'll hear about it after the song is done. People in the north don't much care for jerk offs like that.
The Smell in the Air After the First Score:
Well, I guess there isn't new smells because no pyrotechnics, but you do go deaf by the boos or cheers.
Commentary:
Who the hell is listening to commentary instead of watching the game?
Announcer:
Can't hear him over roar of crowd, but probably a student.
After the game:
Well, aside from the occasional riot, Students rush the field, go to the bars, and stumble along High street singing Carmen Ohio (the alma mater)
I don't know what kind of game Spike's been to in the north, probably harvard or something. Anyway, just thought I'd clear up his mistakes. P.S. you can keep Miami University. I believe all of what spike said about the south is true, but just because they are rowdy (for lack of a better word) doesn't mean we aren't!
Where, O death, is now thy sting?
-
spiked_yankee
- Member
- Posts: 33
- Joined: Tue Sep 07, 2004 5:42 pm
- Location: in the damn south where i dont wanna be
- Contact:
=Squees' gold star! 