well they made me laugh
Allegedly the German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206. Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway." Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop. Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now." Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?" Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark,...... and I didn't land."
Allegedly, a Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following: Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?" Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English." Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?" Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."
Allegedly, while taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!" Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?" US Air 2771: "Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"
there were some shorter ones but they werent any good...so deal with it.
Air Traffic Quotes
Air Traffic Quotes
Compare your life to mine then kill yourself. The dumber people think you are the more surprised they are when you kill them. There are no problems that can't be solved with a suitable application of explosives. 
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SpikedCoffey
- Ballin' on a Budget
- Posts: 871
- Joined: Sat Aug 14, 2004 8:38 am
- Location: Ash-Town, North Carolina
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lol, crazy kids and their crazy VD.
I rode a tank and held a generals rank,
When the blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank.
I shouted out 'Who killed the Kennedys?'
When after all it was you and me.
Let me please introduce myself, Im a man of wealth and taste.
And I laid traps for troubadours who get killed before they reached bombay.
Pleased to meet you hope you guessed my name.
But whats puzzling you is the nature of my game.
When the blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank.
I shouted out 'Who killed the Kennedys?'
When after all it was you and me.
Let me please introduce myself, Im a man of wealth and taste.
And I laid traps for troubadours who get killed before they reached bombay.
Pleased to meet you hope you guessed my name.
But whats puzzling you is the nature of my game.